September 2, 2010

Thinking of you today, dear friend.

As much as my heart aches (when do they say that's gonna clear up?), my goal for today is to cherish the friends and family that are here now and those that have gone before. I'm going to face forward with gratitude.

Thank you for your sweet, solid, gentle, funny, loving, persistent, wry, thoughtful friendship.

I miss you.

xx

Susan

A Poem from Kate's friend Susan Maddigan

I have been thinking of Kate and Rich so often lately . A great friend gave me this poem by Ellen Bass when my father died and I found it full of meaning for those of us left behind. I'd like to share it with Kate's Circle of Friends.


The Thing Is
to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands
your throat filled with the silt of it.
when grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think how can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face
no charming smile, no violet eyes
and you say yes, I will take you
I will love you again

I so appreciated this blog and the chance to stay in touch when I was far away and close by. Thanks and love to all Susan Maddigan S/V Brilliant

Missing you, Sweetie

Hey Dolly,
I have been thinking of you a lot lately and missing you. Where are you? I wonder what experience, if any, you are having now. Can you see us? Are you near us? In our hearts, you definitely are, but is that us conjuring you? I suppose so. But it's what we do, what we have. Anyways, I keep hoping someone is going to post something here, as if the blog would help keep you alive. It does, in a way, and it, of course, does not at all.
We may go for a walk today. I'm online now, about to check the weather. Anyways, I was thinking of you and wanted to be with you somehow.
Love you.

A book of memories for Kate's family?

I was talking with Pam Rothstein this morning at Coffee Obsession and she suggested that we might put together a book of small personal essays or remembrances of Kate for Rich and for her family. It has been started, in a sense, already here on the blog, as you can see from the ones below.
I would be happy to edit such a book over the next several weeks, as people think of what they might like to say. I had the impression at the memorial service Saturday that if we had been able to go on all night there would have been no shortage of wonderful little stories. Or big stories. So, if you feel inclined, please e-mail something to me at hatchvillepottery@comcast.net. Or feel free to put it on the blog and I'll harvest it from here.
Hollis

A reading from the service

Three for Kate

I.
When Ana was a baby we asked Kate to be her unofficial godmother because we had no official god. Of course Kate took the role and made it her own.

A few days ago I texted Ana and asked if she had any specific Katie B memories. She called back quickly.

“I have a very distinct memory,” Ana said from the streets of New York. “It involves food.”

No surprise there.

“You used to drop me off at Kate’s apartment and she would make me pigs in a blanket,” She said this with great joy. “Really, really LITTLE pigs in a blanket.”

Suddenly my own memory was jogged. Ana had come home from her very first overnight with Katie B and she was raving about these little sausages that were so yummy and there was a special sauce and where did they come from and couldn’t we buy some. Preschoolers are a very insistent species. Finally I called Kate. “Katherine Ann, what’s with the tiny sausages?” I could hear her smile. “Cocktail wieners,” she explained as if it were obvious. “I made her cocktail wieners with barbecue sauce.”

Meanwhile, back on the cell phone, Ana said with growing excitement, “ And Chocolate Pudding! She made me Jello Chocolate Pudding! Little pigs in a blanket and Jello Chocolate Pudding! It was The Best Food Ever!”

Can’t you see Katie B holding her hand out as if to say, “My point exactly.”


II.

My mom wrote this note to Kate three weeks ago. Rich asked me to read it.

Dear Kate,
Many, many years ago I looked up from a book I was reading and asked Morellen, “Who’s the bravest person you know?”
Without hesitation, she replied, “Kate Billings.”
Look how your profile in courage has continued to astound and inspire us!
I am forever grateful that Morellen has had the great, good fortune to have you as a friend.
With deep respect and much love,
Peg


III.

A long time ago Kate gave me a book: Awareness, by Anthony de Mello. The book is about waking up and being present to reality. Being aware of our thoughts. He indicates that our thoughts are like clouds and awareness is the clear blue sky above them. The book Awareness moves from my nightstand to my desk to the couch and every time I see it I think of Katie B.

I was lucky enough to be able to say to Kate a few days before she died, “I love you and I am with you.”

I don’t know if I am with Kate, but it turns out Kate is with me. Sadness and grief are there too but Katie B, Kate, Katherine Ann, all of her, is with me.

This last week she helped me celebrate my sister’s birthday, pull weeds from the garden, and grieve. Sometimes, when my head’s full of images, she’s skillfully, calmly sailing her boat around my thoughts in the clear blue sky. Sometimes, like when I was helping out a bit with this service, she was weighing in with comments from a television control room. She was laughing.

But most of the time she is just a part of each moment of reality. I hope she is with you too. Perhaps she is reminding you to enjoy yourself. To breathe. To be present and brave. To go ahead, serve up those cocktail wieners to an eager child.

Some Readings and Remembrances from the Memorial Service and Celebration of Kate's Life

I'd be glad to post any remembrances you may- or may not- have shared at the memorial Service on September 12th.

A Meditation

God has created me to do Him some
definite service. God has committed some work to me
which he has not committed to another. I have my mission- I may
never know it in this life, but shall be told it in the next.

I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.
God has not created me for naught! I shall do good,
I shall do God's work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth
in my own place while not intending it - if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore I will trust God. Whatever, wherever I am.
I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness
may serve God; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him;
if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.
God does nothing in vain. God knows what He is about.
God may take away my friends, God may make me feel desolate,
make my spirit sink, hide my future from me- still God knows what He is about.

- Cardinal John Henry Newman

Deep Peace

Deep peace of the running wave to you.

Deep peace of the flowing air to you.

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.

Deep peace of the shining stars to you.

Deep peace of the gentle night to you.

Moon and stars pour their healing light on you.

Deep peace of Christ, the light of the world to you.

Memories of Kate

By Norm Farr
Read at Kate's memorial service Sept. 12, 2009
For my dear friend, Katie Billings ...

I feel blessed to have known Katie for the better part of this last decade.
I met Kate, as a few of us did, through her acupuncture practice early this century. Once cured of my minor ills of the day our conversation turned to sailing and more or less stayed there for the duration of our friendship. At the time, Katie was boat-less and we were not, so at some point we all went sailing on our trimaran, Triple Scoop. Since that first sail together, our friendship was forged, loosely based on this common interest of sailing.
Katie soon bought a Bullseye to be followed by the Odyssey, a 28’ Cape Dory. Together Kate and Rich painstakingly restored this boat to better than original condition and perhaps brought it back in time a bit by replacing all of the double braid line with three strand rope and fitting the interior with very classy oil lamps including a kerosene anchor light. Katie loved this boat and her life on the water. She made the Odyssey her home. Kate took great joy in cooking hot breakfast while on board and keeping the comfort level extremely high.
We met everywhere on these local waters much like kids meeting in the neighborhood during the summer. Somewhat carefree and random. We met in Matapoisset, Quick’s Hole, Lake Tashmoo, Vineyard Haven and Hadley’s Harbor to name just a few.
Our different boats allowed us each to embrace our own idiosyncrasies. Being on the faster boat, Ann and I could better accommodate our last minute lifestyles While Kate and Rich carefully and thoughtfully planned their routes and meals. We, or I, thought nothing of passing through Woods Hole during a full foul tide, while Katie and Rich patiently waited for a slack tide before passing through the Hole.
We would often make day trips to meet them during those glorious two week vacations that Katie managed to carve out of every summer. (I still can’t figure out how to do that). We’d often show up during the second half of their cruise bringing a home cooked meal and new provisions, especially more wine and fresh vegetables, to get them through the last few days of the cruise.
Like most other aspects of Kate’s life she made sailing a very social escapade. Once, upon seeing a familiar name on a vessel entering the anchorage, she initiated a row over to the new boat, introduced herself and all of us, and very soon had us all scheduled for dinner at her house a few days later.
When we were unable to join them on the water, we enjoyed their cruises vicariously via cell phone and Google earth, sometimes to their benefit. We once called ahead to Ann’s uncle on Block Island to help get a mooring during peak season and to show them a part of the island not normally seen by the casual visitor.
Our friendship grew to encompass much more than sailing. We were always expecting that familiar call from one another. Can’t you just hear Katie saying “So what are we doing this weekend?” Kate and Rich became part of our family, and us theirs, spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter together. Katie was always so welcoming to Ann, her mom, Jean, and myself that we were all indeed, family.
Katie always dreamed getting off of the grid and going sailing for a few years. Perhaps that is what she is doing now.
Until we meet again Katie, I wish you fair winds and following seas.

Saying goodbye to our friend and sister Kate

Kate Billings's family and friends gathered tonight at Coonamessett Farm under a rain-battered tin roof to say goodbye. People came from across the country for the service and the stories. The service was a simple one, presided over by Kate's friend Nan Bouche, and it included stories of Kate told by Nan and many other friends and family. There were tears, but there was also much laughter. There was good wine, good Jamaican food, good talk, much love shared by everyone. Katie would have loved it.

And another, from Tiffany Van Mooy of Falmouth

I read about Kate's passing in the paper tonight. She was a great woman and healer. She treated our whole family after we moved from Seattle five years ago. I was always amazed that as I made new friends, my most favorite people here in Falmouth already knew about Kate and her gifts. Our deepest sympathy to her friends and family.

Another memory of Kate, from Helen Andrews

I knew Kate when she and I worked at WGBH in Boston. During that period in my life I often read Tarot for friends. Kate was always open to paths to self-discovery - long before she became a healer. She had a beautiful soul and I hope that her spirit continues to inspire and uplift those who knew her in all aspects of her life.

Helen Andrews
Former WGBH Auction Staff
(I am not a blogger, nor do I wish to set up an account to do so. But I wanted to share some thoughts with people who obviously cared about her and are deeply touched by her passing)

Kate is remembered at WGBH

Hello, everyone. Beckett Coppola, who works at WGBH and has longtime personal and family ties to Falmouth, e-mailed this remembrance of Katie to us this week. We thought blog readers would enjoy getting a greater sense of Kate's life before acupuncture. See you all Saturday at the memorial service, Coonamessett Farm, 4 p.m.
Hollis and Dee Engley

Kate was remembered in today’s edition of QuickNooz at WGBH:
............................................................................
Former ’GBHer Katherine Ann Billings passed away in Sandwich on Wed, 9/2 at age 52. Born in St. Paul, MN, Kate graduated from the University of Minnesota and started her career at KTCA St. Paul. She came to WGBH Boston in 1987 to work as an associate producer for both the Auction and TV pledge drives. She went on to work for development at WETA in Washington, DC where she produced an award-winning pledge special with actor David Suchet. “Kate was a creative member of our TV Pledge team,” says Roberta McCarthy. “No matter what the challenge, she always very personable and had a sense of humor. Kate was always willing to go that ‘extra mile’ to raise money for WGBH. This is a sad loss for us all.” An accomplished sailor and TV producer, Kate returned to the Boston area to study and later teach at the New England School of Acupuncture, opening her own practice in Falmouth in 2000. She is survived by her partner Rich Van Heynigen, their children Rhianna and Colin, four siblings, and numerous nieces and nephews. A memorial service and celebration of Kate’s life will be held at Coonamesset Farm, 227 Hatchville Rd, East Falmouth on Sat, 9/12 at 4pm. Those wishing to do so may remember Kate with a memorial contribution to Community Health Center of Cape Cod, 107 Commercial Avenue, Mashpee, MA 026

Kate's Obituary

Hi folks. I just spoke with Rich and we thought we'd post the obituary that is being sent to newspapers - though we don't know how each paper will choose to run it. The Falmouth Enterprise treats the passing of residents as a news story so they will stick to "just the facts."

Thank you all for your love and support.

Morellen


Katherine Ann Billings, sailor, television producer, acupuncturist and wise friend, passed away from lung cancer at the McCarthy Care Center in Sandwich, MA on September 2, 2009. She was 52. Born in St. Paul, MN, Kate graduated from the University of Minnesota and spent summers at a beloved cabin on Grand Lake.


Kate started her career at KTCA, St. Paul and came to WGBH Boston in 1987 to work as an Associate Producer for both the auction and television pledge drives. She went on to work for development at WETA in Washington, D.C. where she produced an award-winning pledge special with actor David Suchet. While in Washington she also pursued her love of sailing. Ms Billings developed a second career as an acupuncturist, moving herself and her boat, Dulci Bella, back to the Boston area to study, and later teach, at the New England School of Acupuncture. She opened her practice in Falmouth, MA in 2000.


Kate was a world traveler, a gifted acupuncturist and optimist. When faced with many serious challenges she found ways to be courageous, embrace life and enhance the lives of others.


She is survived by her partner Rich Van Heynigen, their children Rhianna and Colin, her four siblings: Margarita Sweeney, Minneapolis, MN; John Billings, Springfield, MO; William Billings, Ogallala, NE and Mary Billings, Tucson, AZ and numerous nieces and nephews.


A memorial service and celebration of Kate’s life will be held at Coonamesset Farm, 227 Hatchville Rd, East Falmouth on September 12, 2009 at 4 PM.


In lieu of flowers the family requests that any memorials be sent to Community Health Center of Cape Cod, 107 Commercial Avenue, Mashpee, MA 02649.

Kate died peacefully

Kate died Wednesday afternoon around 4. She died peacefully with her family around her. Her brother John, who stayed with us last night, says everyone said a prayer together as she died. The family is planning a memorial service for the weekend of Sept. 12. More information to come as we have it.
Hollis and Dee

Rich and Katie, we are so very fond of you both and are thinking of you constantly. Love to you, Ship & Susan

Surrounded by family

I just talked with Kate's nephew at about 3 p.m. He came by the house to pick up some of her uncle John's luggage. Kate is hanging on, but just barely. "She's peaceful," he said. "She's having a hard time breathing, but she's very peaceful." He doesn't expect her to last much longer.
Send prayers and good thoughts to Rich and all the family.
Hollis

Some words from Kate's friend Lou Ann

Our Katie has been struggling for the past 24 hours or so. Her family is around her tonight. Her friend Lou Ann Burgess sent this to me for the blog.

Kate, we love you - your beauty and your gentleness.
You have touched and healed so many with your friendship and your work.
Our world is better because of you.
We send you peace and our love.

Extra Update

Hi folks,

Thank you Dee and Hollis - Rich asked me to update this blog this evening but you all have done a great job with the information available right now.

Kate is resting comfortably and the staff at the hospice are very skilled. Kate's sisters, Gita and Mary, have been in Falmouth since Saturday and her brothers arrived today. Rihanna and Colin are there with Rich and the Billings bunch so there is much, much love surrounding our girl. The hospice nurses do not think that Kate will survive the week but please keep in mind that all things are shifting and changing. The whole family feels the great love and support of Kate's many friends. They also know you will understand their need to spend time as a small group so that Kate doesn't fatigue so frequently
.

Kate's sending her love to all of you.

Morellen

Kate is moved to Sandwich hospice

Dee and I have gotten so many questions about Kate's condition that we thought we would update the blog with what we know. This is not something Rich or anyone else asked us to do, but I think it's good for people to have an idea where Kate is in this journey.
Kate and Rich have made the decision to move her from Falmouth Hospital to hospice care at the McCarthy Care Center in Sandwich, at 73 Service Road. She is there now. She needs round-the-clock care by professionals there that would be too difficult at home.
Kate's sisters and brothers have arrived to be with her and Rich at the hospice. We've been told that because of Kate's low energy level, they want to keep visitors at the Sandwich facility to only family. Also - and we thought about this after talking to a young friend who not long ago lost his wife to cancer - it's probably best not to call Rich for updates on Kate's condition. She is loved by many, many people here on the Cape, but it seems best to let him concentrate his energies on the woman he loves and let the rest of us get out news here on the blog.
Susan and Kyle and a number of other people - Rich and Kate included - have kept up the blog so that everyone can know at least some of what's happening. We'll all do our best to keep this blog as current as we can.
Kate and Rich and their family need everyone's prayers and good thoughts right now.
Hollis and Dee Engley

Overdue Info

Kate was having a reaction to her meds and returned to the hospital Monday. The good news for her and Rich is that she's at Falmouth Hospital, which feels preferable for a variety of reasons, the closeness to home being near the top of the list. She didn't feel well when I saw her yesterday. I haven't gotten word yet today. She asked me to update this, though.

Susan

Greatest News

I'm home from the hospital as of yesterday afternoon. So I'm completely thrilled. Much love, Kate